You'll Shoot Your Eye Out!

So my sister and Kevin planned a fun-filled evening with James and I last week! THANK YOU GUYS--we really did have a lot of fun! We went to see a "live" play of "The Christmas Story." This happens to be their favorite movie and they really wanted to share the play experience with James--we all were very impressed with this grown-up date we had planned. So, we all dressed up and made a night of it!

James was quiet as a mouse through the ENTIRE first part! He watched all the kids in the play and didn't miss a single thing...he was just soaking it ALL in. After "half-time" as James called it there was more! He intently watched the entire 2nd half as well! We were so happy (and I was relieved) that he had so much fun and acted so well-behaved. He really did watch all of it...we know this because when Saturday morning came he re-enacted it! Mostly just the "you'll shoot your eye out" part as he fake hit himself in the eye and fell on the floor. Over and over again. I thought how cute that he remembers part of the play. :)

A week later he gets a Nerf type plane launcher--guess what he did? He said, "I'm gonna shoot my eye out!" and he launched that plane right into his own eye! Ouch! Luckily no bruising or anything. Sara happened to be on the phone when this happened...or she may not have believed me! She did say that the play was supposed to have the opposite effect and that he was supposed to learn NOT to shoot his eye out, ha...ha!

Then, yesterday I'm out with a friend of mine and he yells "I gotta gooo Wee Wee!" OMG I about died laughing and had to explain to my friend the whole thing. Of course, we called Auntie right away and left this on her voicemail. So, note to self...remember to take Sara's kids to "The Christmas Story!" If you have any warnings on other almost grown-up things that should have warning labels...please let me know!!

Holiday Buzz

I absolutely LOVE the holidays! I love eating, laughing, spending time with family and friends and mostly just watching my son experience things for the first time! At 3 he thinks he is so grown up and I honestly believe that in his mind he is!

His daddy always tells him to "Take Care of Mamma" anytime that he leaves. The neatest thing about this is that James does "take care of Mamma." It's adorable to see him automatically try to fill his "grown up" role as he tries to open the doors for me, makes sure I'm okay if I sneeze or becomes concerned if I'm coughing. These are the little things that give me massive amounts of encouragement and strength especially this holiday season. God knew what He was doing when he blessed me with my son.

This was the first Thanksgiving in 9 years that my husband didn't join us for Turkey Dinner with my family. I was sad to leave him behind, but I knew that doing so would somehow help me move forward. Of course all of the food was amazing and I'm positive I consumed more than my share, but this year at our annual gathering I noticed more than ever the "dynamics" of my local family...my mom, grandma, (late great-grandma and late great-great-grandma) are widowed---none remarried; my aunt, sister, cousin and soon to be me are all divorced; my youngest cousin isn't married yet and my oldest cousin is very happily married with two beatiful girls. All of this stood out to me more than ever! This was my "ah-hah" moment that gave me the determination to decide that I will choose to make decisions that will help me live my dream of a happy home which includes being & having a loving spouse.

Just spending time with my family made me feel loved and warmed my soul. James had so much fun playing "tea" with his "Nana" and cousins (Ellee & Preslee). The girls eventually dressed up as Disney Princesses and James refused to wear a dress (I was proud of him--he really is ALL boy!). They also played chase around and around and around the kitchen/living room over and over again. These are the small almost unnoticeable moments that make my life "Happily Ever After."

Thanksgiving 2008: Preslee, Ellee & James

Add these to my faves...

Friday was supposed to a football game with James & Gma, but we decided it was too cold and opted for dinner only. James scarfed down everything Sara was eating! It was quite cute to watch him look up to his Auntie with his adorable little smile and snatch a piece of food right off whatever bite she was about to take!?! Now this is amazing for two reasons: 1) James NEVER eats anything! and 2) Sara would normally gnaw your fingers off for even attempting to snatch food out of her hand. ;) Love ya, sis!

I dropped James off at home and spent a fun night at my sister's! It's interesting how fun cards can be after a few "Lemon Drop Martini's!" WARNING: I'm not responsible for any cheating if I've been drinking...shhhhhh....don't tell anyone! (;
If you EVER want to know how to make a FABULOUS martini...check this out! http://themartinidiva.blogspot.com/

Saturday it was time for a relaxing Starbucks, our infamous breakfast at "Sara's" and the new Madagascar movie. It was a fun movie...but it wasn't Wall-E so he made up excuses like I have to go potty or I'm hungry so he could get out and walk around....too smart that 'lil guy!

Sunday was an introduction to a new church...James had a great time and kept calling it "my church, my church" ...um...yes, we plan to go back next Sunday. A little electric guitar jam session on a Sunday morning never hurt anyone, right? Oh and the Cowboys won! All in all...no complaints!

One day at a time...I can do this. Thank you all for your love and support!!

Simply the Facts or TMI

So I'm one of "those" people that truly believes everything does happen for a reason. I may not like it or accept it at first, but after my smart a** remarks, venting and finally reasoning I can see the good in things most of the time. This happens to be one of those times. I posted the "How We Met" blog earlier today to set the mood for happiness. Because, this is one of those times that I need to trust my instincts and truly believe that "everything does happen for a reason." Today, followed one of the most difficult days of my life.

Remember that record scratching sound...eerrrrr--like everything comes screeching to a halt...that was my life on July 16th when my Prince of a Husband who I so much love and adore said the most painful words that will forever be etched into my mind... "I want a divorce." Even as I write this almost four months later it still brings tears to my eyes and feelings come rushing back. That was THE day my little blip of a world crashed in on me and everything as I knew it ceased to be what I thought it was. My perspective on everything changed and I cried and cried and cried for 9 weeks straight. At some point with some strong encouragement from my best friend (my sis) I came to my senses and went to the Dr....and I got all fixed up with some medications that helped me get to this place I am in now. This is my happy place where I can mention the word divorce and not burst into tears. It's been the most difficult situation I've ever had to manage through, but you know what I AM managing through it and I will be okay.

The saddest part is...there's no punch line...no rest of the story...no cheating...no drama...just a I don't love you anymore, you're mean and I don't feel like you love me. No options...just divorce. I was so shocked. This isn't happening to me...divorce has never been an option, and this is the man I love and fell in love with and brag about all the time. My life seemed a blur and nothing made sense except for my beautiful baby boy.

Oh yes, back to the story...yesterday was my husband and I's first counseling appointment...he agreed to go because I wouldn't give up...well it was basically just the clarifying moment that he was serious...divorce was the only option. My counselor assured me that sometimes people just can't give what they don't have no matter how much we want them to. Okay, I can accept that. She also told us that we haven't heard each other because I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder...what? This was a new term for me...I had never hear of it before and had no idea what she was talking about.

After HB left and I continued to talk with my counselor she proceeded to name everything about me it was like she had been a little fly on the wall my whole life. She asked me a few questions, gave me a few scenarios and asked how I felt in those situations and I replied unknowingly giving almost every symptom of GAD. The good news is it can be treated and I don't feel like I'm "on edge" all the time...which I've pretty much felt like all my life. I can sleep at night without my mind racing about everything...I don't obsessively worry as much and I'm learning to control my breathing and thoughts. The main thing she tried to get across is that my actions/reactions to my Husband were NOT a direct reflection on him or how I felt about him...it was me being anxious and worrying and trying to keep my little world "safe." I was so relieved to know that I wasn't crazy and now that I've been on medicine I don't know how I ever lived without it. I never knew you could fall asleep without racing thoughts!?!

I'll keep you updated as I work through this process. My hope in "telling all" is that it may help someone else.

My baby boy is what got and still does get me through my days, nights, sadness, he is who made me suck it up and get through each day one day at a time. He is my "Everything Happens for a Reason." Thank God for Little Boys and I thank God everyday for blessing my life with my 3 year old son. So even through all the storm...He is and will always be "MY HAPPILY EVER AFTER."

How We Met

It was August of 1999, I was 25--he was 40, so big deal I can handle this, right?! My student (his 16 yr. old son) was in my class and invited his "Dad" to be a guest speaker for my Law class. He had many facets of experience in this field...former Force Recon Marine, Police Officer, Bodyguard--perfect topics for my class! So here he came in his hounds tooth jacket and buff body, so professional and something about him just drew me in. He asked me out and we went on a date to the zoo and spent every waking (and sleeping) moment together we could after that. It was like a Fairy Tale--love at first sight...no really...I was smitten and knew I would love this man forever. He was intelligent, funny, fair, a gentlemen and it didn't take long for me to earn the title of Princess and he was my Le Guardian de la Princess (we eventually even had these words engraved in our wedding bands.) Awwww the embrace of new love...I can recall those feelings just like it was yesterday. I'm just going to reminiscence in those memories for a little while...

I promise to get better!

So, I've been gone for most of the summer and I do intend to update my blog soon! Even with all my traveling, I've still been working--writing curriculum and now I've been doing the 8-5 thing for 2 weeks assessing for National Board...ugh! Can't wait for summer to end so I can go back to only one job! Don't give up on me just yet. :) "It's 100 degrees outside..."

Found this at http://www.cafepress.com/islandvintage Some really cute stuff!

Trendy or Trashy?

I grew up in one of the most conservative households known to man and even I wear thong panties! Honestly, I just thought everyone did?! Recently during a lunchtime conversation with the girls at work they were talking about how appalling it was that the students undies peek out above their jeans from time to time. Now let me clarify...high school is the last place we should see undies! I totally agree with that. However, the girls continued on that they didn't understand how anyone could wear a pair of those "thongs" anyway. Don't forget my girls at work are a few years older than me. They went on and on about how uncomfortable they must be, who would even buy those, they seemed kind of trashy, etc, etc. Well, of course, I just quickly withdrew from the conversation and became an innocent listener pretending to understand their theories. After all that I couldn't bring myself to say anything in defense of my ever-favorite thong panties. I love my thongs! They have so many great benefits including never showing a panty line! Not to mention the fact that my husband adores the "cheeky" view! I mean ever since I tried my first thongs as a young teen I've never looked back! I've really always thought that thongs are one of the greatest fashion inventions. Don't worry I do venture out every now and then testing out the low rise hip huggers and such, but I always go back to my trusty, trendy thongs. So, girls what are your thoughts?